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Letter To The Men: 2 Reasons Why You Scare Women Off

What Women Think 

Men...let me let YOU in on a little secret. We women LOVE strong, driven, take-care-of-business, I-wish-a-ninja-would-step-to-my-woman types who will defend our honor and provide for us at any cost! We long for your touch, bite our lips at the sight of your muscles, and love the way you take the lead. BUT there are a few problems many of us women encounter when falling for the likes of you charming gentlemen. The controlling, demanding, and sometimes demeaning criticism.

I am talking about those of you who really mean well, love us and are truly on our side BUT struggle with communicating in a sensitive, loving, compassionate way when dealing with us. My husband was definitely one of those and still works on that to this day...but we will leave that story for another time Let me let you into our world for a minute so that I can share with you how your "good intentions" sometimes produce insecurity and feelings of rejection in the woman you love. 

2 Reasons Why You Scare Women Off

Reason #1:  Insecurity

Ok...I know that no one can MAKE you insecure, that is something we must give others the power to do. HOWEVER, take a walk with me for a minute...and imagine this scenario...

You meet the woman of your dreams, and she is strong, sexy, fine, driven, loving and passionate about life. You all decide to be together. Over time, you start to see the side she doesn't show to others. You see the good, the bad and the ugly. The attitudes, the smells, the complaints, the feelings of wanting to give up on life, you see it all. You start to get turned off, frustrated and tired of her. You start to get used to the tears and used to the "issues" and start to tune her out. You become numb to her. You start to tell her to snap out of it. Ignore her pain and struggle because you need support too. She changed right? She isn't who she said she was right?

The Inside Scoop

I'm going to let you in on something guys. When superwoman feels like she has to be super 100% of the time, even with her man, there isn't enough of super woman left to go around. She feels she has no safe place when home is supposed to be that place. When a woman knows her man is a good man, she may start to question herself, her abilities, her strengths and whether or not she can really do it all like she once thought. She may not initially feel insecure, but a woman can feel when her man has checked out on her and got cold.

Sometimes that strong, sexy, fine, driven, loving, passionate lady starts to feel depleted, unloved and like she isn't enough for you. This could cause her to see life through a different lens which are different then when you first met. Bottom line, overtime your woman may get overwhelmed with life if she can't find her safe place with you.

Reason #2:  Rejection 

My brilliant men, educated men, professional men, entrepreneurial, lead the pack type men. You are awesome. You are wise. You know that. The world knows that. Your woman knows that better than anyone else. You are bold, outspoken and sometimes more honest than most would like you to be which can be a blessings and a curse.  If your woman has an idea about something and you think of a way to do it better that's fine. If she has to make a "right now" decision on something without you and you don't agree with what she did...that happens. If she expresses to you her issues, her pains and her need to be loved but now isn't a great time for you, even that is acceptable sometimes.

However, when you constantly have to mold and shape her ideas to fit what you think is best, that isn't right. If she makes a decision independent of you and the expression on your face and tone in your voice all but calls her a third grader that's not cool. When she has needs and desires that she wants YOU to comfort and you make her second place to your other priorities, you are playing in dangerous waters.

Hear A Womans Heart

Even though you have a million reasons why that isn't the case and you could build a case for yourself like you have a law degree (which you might have) hear the heart of what I am saying. Either you want a beautiful, supportive, strong confident woman or you don't. If you do, be careful how you respond to her, be careful how you handle her, be careful what you put before her. Even the most driven woman can be crushed or turn hard on the inside when even the slightest rejection seeps in from the man she has given her all to. Even a woman who has the most intimate relationship with God can have her breath taken away by the man she loves and come out with scars and wounds.

Bottom line, my brothers with all your good intentions, all your goals, all your creativeness, all your solutions and all your drive to be something great in this world, if you have a woman who you know is all in for you, don't reject her.

Great Men Put In Work  

Ok guys, if you made it this far, you understood where I was coming from and know I wasn't "bashing" you. You know I am coming from a place of understanding that you are not perfect. You also understand that it takes both us women and men to be willing to examine ourselves to make relationships better and lasting. Wondering where the article is for the ladies huh? It's right here. Just remember change starts with the person in the mirror and we all could use some help on the journey to loving each other better. Thanks for joining me on this journey and be on the lookout for my next blog, for the men coming soon. Be blessed.

What Do You Think?

For the women, have you struggled with these?  For the men, which of these are your guilty of?  Comment below. 

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