Your Date Intervention



Your Date Intervention

you need help

I said that I wouldn’t cry about being single, and I meant it. That being said, please don’t throw rocks at me for admitting that I want to be in a relationship. That’s right, I want a man. But how does one navigate through the dating field maze without becoming utterly confused? 

You're tired of being alone, but you don’t want to settle. You want a good man, but you keep choosing bad ones. You want to put yourself out there, but you're afraid. These hang-ups made sense to me when I was younger, but no longer do. They hindered my ability to recognize a good man. Therefore, I’ve hung up my hang-ups for the sake of finding love. It’s time you do the same. Ladies and gents, consider this your intervention.


the list

Let’s start with the list. That’s right, I’m putting the infamous list on blast. While there's nothing wrong with listing the traits you want your future spouse to have, some of our lists are so unrealistic, so idealistic, so ridiculous, it’s no wonder we’re single. I am convinced that even Jesus couldn’t measure up to the man on your list! He’s not tall enough, rich enough, and nowhere near handsome enough for you. Once again, you've passed up a good man because he didn't come in the ideal package.  

I’m not suggesting you ditch the list, but you shouldn’t be enslaved to it either. Personally, I condensed mine down to a few must-have character traits only. All of that extra, icing on the cake, “He must be six foot two,” nonsense has been thrown out. Since then, I’ve met a number of interesting, likable, and worthy people. It's not that I've lowered my standards, but I'm allowing God to give me someone who meets His.  


what you heard

The next hang-up is for deeply “spiritual” people only. If you’re like me, you’ve had a number of prophecies about your future spouse. I believe in prophecies, but I spent too many years trying to force these things to happen according to my own understanding. There was a time when I wouldn’t even look at a guy who didn’t line up with these prophecies. That narrowed my options to zero. There you go with those squinting eyes. I'll give you one example. A prophet told me that I’d be married in two years. That was four years ago. The end. Prophets can miss the mark sometimes. Furthermore, if you’ve had dreams about your future spouse, remember this. Most dreams are symbolic, not literal. Here’s what you should do with prophecies and dreams. Pray about them, submit them to God, and keep dating. Don’t be so rigid. Only God knows how these things will manifest. There’s no point in hindering your dating life trying to do His job.



Here’s another hang-up screaming for attention. Drama’s his name. Looking back at my crushes, I obviously loved drama. I know what you're thinking, but it wasn’t stupidity that made me feel this way; it was my compassionate heart. Oh who am I kidding, call it stupidity if you'd like. Bottom line, I thought I could fix people. For example, there was the guy who was angry at his absent father, the abnormally emotional, and slightly crazy guy, and don’t forget the bad boy (with the sexy tattoos). I used to have nothing but love for these guys. Now that I’m older, I wouldn’t touch them with a ten foot poll.         

Man or woman, relationships with these types of individuals are doomed from the start. Exceptions are few, so why take the chance? Until they are made whole, something you can’t do for them, it’s best you stay away. So you still want to help them? Alright, Mother Teresa, pray for them, send them to a psychologist, but for heaven’s sake, don’t date them!



Before I go into the next hang-up, answer me this. How is it that one man can make you feel, and act, like a queen, and the next man can make you feel, and act, crazy? I don’t even know what to call this hang-up. If you can name it, be my guest. Nevertheless, singles, please quit slobbering over people whose only goal in life is to mess with your mind. For example, mysterious men are not at all mysterious. They're secretive and can’t be trusted. I don’t know about you, but I will not police his every move. Another example is hard-to-reach men. Newsflash, they’re not busy, they simply don't want to be reached. Last and least are arrogant guys. Oh how I adored them, but was never good enough to be in their world. Now I chuckle whenever I see an arrogant, self absorbed dude. People like him are compensating for something, and are insecure. Do your self esteem a favor and throw these fishes back into the sea.                

You can no longer make excuses for inviting unnecessary drama into your life. You should have a little more wisdom and common sense under your belt by now. Where are the predictable, reliable, drama free men? The emotionally sound and mature men? Whereever they are, that’s where you should want to be. That is what Leroy Scott talked about in this podcast:


last but not least

The last hang-up is a silent killer. It is passiveness. If you’ve been single for a long time, please stop pretending you want to be in a relationship, because you don’t. If you did, you’d make yourself available. I’m addressing men and women. Let’s make this one short and sweet. Dating sites, I’m on them. Flirting, I do it. Asking a guy out, I’ve done it. And I won’t apologize for any of it. If you want a relationship, in the words of Mary Mary…go get it! That's all I'll say about that.


in closing       

You can breathe now, dear friends.  This intervention is over. Teenagers, save this blog for future references. Twenty something year olds, I got hung up so that you don't have to. You’re welcome. For everyone else, I have great news! You are attractive, you are intelligent, you are fun to be around, and highly desirable. There are plenty of worthy hopefuls scoping you out. Now that you’re no longer hung-up, you are well able to identify who they are. Congratulations! Getting over your hang-ups is proof that you are truly single but ready.


Question:  Are you in current need of an intervention?  If not, how have you overcome the issues that I listed above?


Melodie Hickey

Melodie S. Hickey



Melodie is one of the few female music producers in Orlando, Florida. She's also a singer, songwriter, and music producer for the Pop/R&B Christian group Vast Remedy.


Melodie is known for creating music that is unconventional, with an ability to hook listeners with addictive melodies and profound messages.


For more information about Vast Remedy, please visit


READ MORE from Melodie S. Hickey...  click here.


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