key-to-dating

 

The Key To Dating & 9 Questions You Must Answer

My Disclaimer

What you are about to read will challenge you. I am well aware of the fact that only about 20% of those who read this post will follow it up with action. Yes, it's disappointing but 20% is better than nothing. Plus...at this point, I am only interested in those who are truly serious about protecting the future of their next relationship. If you are casually reading this and are not serious about your next relationship succeeding, don't continue reading. Don't waste your time. However, if you are really interested in knowing the true keys to succeeding in your next relationship, this post is for you. 

The Key To Dating

I have learned over the past few years of working with relationships a very valuable key to dating. If you can grasp this key...it will fundamentally change your perception on dating. Here is the key: Dating is about personal positioning.

Okay, you may be confused yet intrigued as to what this statement means so allow me to elaborate. Your personal position in life will determine the quality of opportunities that you encounter. Where you are in life will determine what you get in life...especially as it pertains to dating. Most people want great things from life but aren't in the right position to receive it. That is like saying that you want to be a successful doctor one day but you have not positioned yourself to get into medical school. The same can be said for relationships. Most people when asked can list off the traits of their ideal mate. They can give you the details to what their perfect relationship would look like and even tell you the particulars of their future family. Unfortunately, these individuals will never receive what they envision.

Not because of the grandiosity of their dreams...but because they are out of position. Think of someone attempting to make a call from their cell phone but they are in a spot that has limited to no reception. No matter how much they lift, or tilt their phones...they won't get the signal. Waiting on the right person to come is not the solution. That is like waiting on your phone to finally receive a signal. I have never simply sat still and waited on the signal to improve...I moved until I found a spot that granted me what I was looking for. I found the right position.

Your Position Is Everything

Many singles have suffered through arduous relationships only to get to the end of them to realize that the person they were dating was not the right one for them or vise versa. They then look for the next relationship without realizing that they are still in a dead spot. They are still out of position. No matter what they do, because they are out of position, they can't be who they truly are and they can't give what the relationship really needs. Here is a scary statistic. Over the past 5 years of researching relationships, I have found that 10 out of 10 relationships that fail, fail as a result of either one or both individuals being misplaced. For the record, that is 100% of relationships that I have researched! What I have found is that when a person is not properly place in their personal lives, they will lack the tools needed to build and maintain a healthy relationship.

Think about it. If the main goal of being in a relationship is to give of yourself...how can you give of yourself if you aren't being who you truly are supposed to be? How will you even know who to be if you haven't found yourself? How will you know where you are going if you don't know where you are? How will you know what to give if you don't know what you possess? Most people don't equate dating with purpose and thus date without a purpose. Because most people date from the wrong position, they miss the right opportunities. Unfortunately, missed opportunities don't return for you. You either meet them or miss them. How you position yourself will determine whether or not you meet the right opportunity. Again, I can't become a medical doctor if I don't position myself for medical school.

My Solution

Because I am simply tired of hearing people say what they want from misplaced positions...I have decided to do something about it. I want to ask you 9 simple (yet not so simple) questions that if answered correctly, will guarantee that you find your right position in life. These 9 questions are taken from the Relationship Readiness Plan and are the same questions that I assign to my coaching clients for them to answer. Most people will say that they know their purpose in life until they meet these 9 questions. 85% of my clients who attempted to complete this assignment on their first attempt had to redo it. I have to be honest with you...these are not questions that you can answer on the spot. They require time and attention. They require all of you. But in the end, once answered, you will know more about yourself than you ever imagined. 

The 9 Questions That You Must Answer

1. What am I really good at?

    • • What did I do best this year?
    • • What do people usually come to me for?
    • • What are my top 3 skills?
    • • What are my top 3 talents?

2. What is my deepest desire?

    • • What are the things you want most in life?

3. What are my passions?

    • • What ideas, projects or concepts animate and energize you?
    • • What things (when you do them) make you forget to eat or sleep?

4. What makes me angry?

    • • What do you wish you could change about the world?
    • • What things really bothered you most about the church, the world, your family or people in general?
    • • What is starting to disturb you more and more?

5. What ideas are persistent?

    • • What ideas, inventions, or innovations keep coming back to you?

6. What do I constantly imagine?

    • • What is your vision for your life and others' lives?
    • • What do you daydream about?

7. What do I want to do for humanity?

    • • What problem would you like to solve?
    • • What need would you fill?
    • • What legacy would you leave behind?

8. What brings me the greatest fulfillment?

    • • What activities, projects, courses, jobs, and hobbies have brought you the most fulfillment?

9. What could I do forever even if there was no monetary compensation?

    • • If you had all the money in the world, what would you spend your time doing?

My Challenge To You

My challenge for you is to spend some time answering these questions. If you are serious about answering them, I will personally commit my time to helping you with any questions that you may have. Here is what I am willing to do for you. For all of those who are serious about finding their right position, I will be there to review your answers to these 9 questions. Put your email into this box below to receive a PDF document with these questions on it. That way you can complete them when you have more time and energy to focus on them. I will also include my email in that document so that you can send your responses or questions directly to me...for FREE! It is time out for just another good read...I want you to have something tangible to be working on so that we can begin to measure your personal progress. It is time for you to truly be Single But Ready!

What Do You Think?

What would you do forever if you already had all the money that you would ever need? Write your comments below. 

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