8 Reasons Why Your First 3 Dates Are The Most Important

Don't Skip This.

Dating for the first time in a while or dating after a failed relationship can be both scary and stressful.  Not knowing what to say, what to wear, how to open up again, if you should ask for a kiss on the first date, or where to go can produce more anxiety than excitement.   Despite this, what you do (and don’t do) on the first 3 dates can be super critical to the future health of the relationship and can be the deciding factor as to whether or not the relationship ends in disappointment or blossoms into something deeper. 

In route to helping you to date with more clarity and with a purpose, I will share with you 8 reasons why the first 3 dates are the most important dates.  In the end, I will give you an opportunity to receive 11 specific questions to ask during those first 3 dates.  These questions will ensure that you gain the proper information needed to determine whether or not to end the relationship or to pursue something deeper.

The Importance of the First 3 Dates 

1.)  It Gives You A Chance To See YOUR True Motives For Dating.  First and foremost, you want to make sure that you are dating for the right reasons.  If you are dating to overcome loneliness or because someone finally asked you out…that will impact your level of awareness during the date.  You will find yourself being more moved by the excitement of the moment and will make less rational decisions (remember cloud 9).  Know why you are dating before you go on a date and then be honest with yourself about your true motives.  You can’t afford to date with the wrong motives.

2.)  It Gives You A Chance To See Your Date's True Motives For Dating.  This is good because if you are aware of your motivations for dating, you can better assess the other person's true motives for dating. Are they there for a booty call? Are they suffering from loneliness? Are you a rebound relationship? Or are they truly there searching for a healthy relationship? With your head out of the clouds, you can practice more dating discretion.

3.)  It Gives You An Honest Snapshot Of The Relationships Potential.  The quality of the first three dates can tell you the direction that the relationship is headed in. For instance, if it starts off too physical, that will most likely be the basis of the relationship. If it starts off with drama, you may find that drama begins to define the relationship. Most people ignore the warning flags that often appear at the beginning of doomed relationships due to the excitement of the moment. People are more likely to settle too soon, especially if they become emotionally vulnerable early on in the relationship. If the time is utilized correctly, you won't have to date for months just to find out that this person was not the right one. That can be established by date # 3.

4.)  It Helps You See Whether Or Not You Have Completly Healed From Your Last Relationship.  Sometimes the only way to see if you are truly ready to fly again is to spread your wings and jump. If your last relationship was emotionally traumatic, you will definitely need time to recoup. The first three dates are excellent opportunities to test the waters again, to see if there are still emotional attachments that you are not quite over yet. Be honest with yourself and with the person you are dating. Just like you don't want to be a rebound, don't make them one either.

5.)  It Shows You Your Date's Level Of Emotional Stability.  One of the 11 questions that you will receive focuses on your date's level of emotional stability. In a mate, you want someone who can be in touch with their emotions on a consistent basis. Are they easily angered and short tempered? What happens when something goes wrong on the date? What about when you disagree? How do they emote and what emotions do they show the most? You want to see a range of emotions during the first 3 dates. If you have found yourself saying these words, "we always get along..." Or, "this person has no flaws..." I would have to question your level of dating discretion.

6.)  It Can Show You What Stage Of Life Your Date Is In.  This one is very important, especially if you know what stage of life you are in. Are they lost? Are they searching? Do they know their purpose in life? Are they in college or working in a dead-end career? These vital pieces of information will prove helpful for you when determining your compatibility and future stability...if it gets to that point. You want someone who can complement you and not serve as a weight.

7.)  It Gives You Time To Assess How Compatible You Two Are.  Three dates may not seem like enough time to determine ones compatibility but if used correctly, this time will work wonders. You should not only be looking to have a good time, you should also be assessing for compatibility. How well does the communication flow? Do you feel energized around this person? Are you comfortable opening up with this person? Does the date seem dry, stagnant or scripted? In order for the relationship to have a chance at success, you have to both start from the same place and be aiming for the same goal. If you aren't compatible in the beginning, then there is no need in moving any further.

8.)  It Gives You An Opportunity To Make A Decision On The Relationship With More Than Just Your Emotions.  Lastly, being able to make a rational decision about the future of the relationship may save you months or years of heartache and misery. Keeping your emotions in check will be difficult at first but it is necessary...that is why you have the first 3 dates to get them under control. If you date with your heart leading, you may be fooled. Use your head first, and let your emotions follow suit. You will be happy that you did.

Strategic Dating

Most people don't put an emphasis on the first 3 dates. More importantly, most people don't date with a strategy at all and just go into the dating situation hoping for the best. Although this is the norm, this is also the worst approach to take with dating. Now that you understand the importance of the first 3 dates, I would like to share with you the best 11 questions to ask during those first 3 dates. These questions will help you get all of the information you will need to make the best decision possible. Because this is a tool that I use with my coaching clients, I don't just have this information floating around on the internet. To get them, simply put your email address in the box below. You will be added to my Ready VIP email list so that I can email you the questions along with other exciting FREE bonuses. Submit now to get your questions.

What Do You Think?

Are you guilty of leading with your heart more than with your head?  Did it work for you?

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