9 Things You Must Do In 2014 To Attract The Right One

Are We Done Yet? 

For many people, 2013 was a very trying year.  Most of you are just happy to hobble across the finish line of 2013 as you look forward to the mirage of a hopeful 2014.  You may have already claimed 2014 as “my year” with hopes that it will yield a better return on your investment.  If you are single, you hope that this will be THE year…the year that your “single” status changes permanently. 

Whether you believe in making New Year’s resolutions or not, you have to start the New Year off right.  I will share with you 9 things that you absolutely must do in 2014 to attract the right one.  The list that I outline below is based on qualitative and quantitative research, counseling, coaching and speaking engagements that I have conducted over the past 10 years.  

If you do them, I guarantee that the odds of you attracting the right person will increase dramatically.  If you don’t, you may find yourself stumbling across the finish line of 2014 as you enter into 2015…and the mirage of having a hopeful year will meet you there.


The 9 Things You Must Do...  

1.)  Heal From The Past.  In order for you to find true love in 2014, you must finally deal with the unresolved pain,  wounds and baggage that often result in low self-esteem, broken and failed relationships and missed opportunities.  One of the biggest obstacles to successful and healthy interpersonal relationships is your past.  Research shows that we tend to carry our past with us wherever we go even though we don’t want to.  If you noticed that 2013 was a slower year for you, it is probably due to the baggage that you continue to carry around.  It’s time to come clean in 2014! Had to make it rhyme…lol!

2.)  Keep The Bar Raised.  The year 2013 had 365 days in it.  You may have started off the year with gusto and motivation but ended the year limping and tired.  A heavy year has a way of wearing away at your strength, especially if being strong seems to offer only delayed gratification.  When you are tired, one of the first things to go is your standards.  To be successful in 2014, keep them high.  Don’t settle due to exhaustion.  Don’t even settle for immediate gratification.  To get what you are truly worth, you have to keep the price of admission high. You want a price that only a few are willing to invest in…and a price that only a few can afford.

3.)  Flirt More Often.  Yes I said it…flirt more often.  Actually, research has proved that flirting reduces your stress level and improves your overall personal well-being.  And in the words of Gettysburg College Professor of Philosophy Steve Gimbel, "Flirting is to romance what sparring is to boxing."  Flirting can provide the spark needed to motivate you to lose some weight, to join a new hobby class, or to change jobs. After all, when you feel good, you start to appreciate yourself a little more.  Flirting can be the door opener to your next relationship.  Hey…flirting got me my wife.

4.)  Build Your Body.  The first few months of each year are the most lucrative for any business involved in the physical fitness field.  Many start the year highly motivated to lose weight, eat right, work out and live a healthier lifestyle.  The problem is not starting…it’s finishing.  Whether it is a gym membership or a diet plan…you have got to find a way to build your body.  Again, research is very specific about the benefits of a healthy body on your overall wellness.  Resolve this year to find your sexy and preserve your sexy…I know I am.  I got a good one…Get toned and lean in 2014!  Don’t judge me, lol!

5.)  Scare Fear.  This is not a paradox, nor is it a typo.  I truly meant to write “scare fear.”  Think about it.  Fear has had too much of an influence in your life.  Be honest.  Fear has kept you from taking risk, it has kept you from standing up for yourself, it has even kept you from being honest with yourself about yourself.  Fear is a major human motivator.  Most of our behaviors are fear driven.  This year, your job is to flip the script on fear.  Send fear running with its tail tucked between its boney little legs.  The best way to scare fear is to recognize that fear is an illusion.  Once you see it for what it is, you can resist it.  When you resist it, it will flee.  Simple as that.

6.)  Re-teach People How To Treat You.  I love the saying, “You teach people how to treat you.”  That is so true.  People learn how to interact with you based on how you present yourself to them.   It is imperative that you send the right message about who you are and how you are…if not, people will define you based on information that you don’t give them.  If there are relationships that ran out of steam or ended due to boundaries being violated, now is the time to give those individuals a clearer image of who you truly are.  Re-define those boundaries so that they can benefit from knowing someone as unique as yourself.  If it is too late to salvage those relationships, remember this point for your next relationship.  Get it right this time.  Be the person you want them to know.

7.)  Wear A Smile & Laugh While You're At It.  I can give you list upon list of the health benefits of smiling and laughing but I will constrain my inner nerd.  I will however provide a few fun facts.  Neurotransmitters called endorphins are released when you smile.  Endorphins make us feel happier and less stressed.  They are also natural pain killers.  If you fake a smile, your brain won’t know the difference between a real smile and a fake smile.  Also, laughing is effective pain management and stimulates homeostasis.  When you laugh, you release pent up emotions.  PLUS…research shows that smiling makes you look more attractive.  These facts alone should motivate you to wear a smile and laugh more.  Maybe this will…laugh out your spleen in 2014!  That one was good, lol!

8.)  Remember The 13:1 Ratio.  Did you know that for every negative word that you say, you have to say at least 13 positive words to counteract the power of that one word?  That’s both amazing and alarming at the same time.  That means that if you found yourself being more negative in 2013, you have to work even harder in 2014 to break the habit of negative talk.  The brain literally creates chemicals based on your words.  Negative words produce toxic chemicals that overtime affects your health.  More physical ailments are caused by negative words and negative emotions than anything else.  Read Deadly Emotions by Don Colbert M.D. for the research behind why.  Make this year the year of healthy talk and positivity.  But mean it this time.

9.)  Fall In Love With You.  In order to find true love, you have to literally fall in love with yourself first.  You must love you so much that you aren’t moved by the darts that people will throw your way in 2014.  You have to be so in to you that you decide to live your life with or without the approval of someone else.  Falling in love with yourself means that you have to finally accept all of you…the good, the bad and the ugly.  After all, acceptance is the only road that leads to lasting change.  You know the Jewish proverb right?  “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”  You can only love someone else to the degree that you love yourself.  Often when finding true love, your inability to truly love yourself is your biggest enemy.  Try saying this one…I will love my whole being in 2014!  Okay…I tried hard on that one! 

Nothing Else To Say

So, there you have it…the 9 things that you must do in 2014 if you really want to attract the right person.  There are no cutting corners when it comes to this.  Your change is waiting on you.  To help keep you motivated, join our Ready VIP mailing list.  By submitting your email below, you take the first steps towards jump starting 2014 by allowing Single But Ready to partner with you as you work towards having the best year of your life.  When you run out of steam, we will be here to support you and provide valuable tools and resources to super-charge your journey.  Get started now.

What Do You Think?

What one goal will you accomplish this year?  Comment below.  To get this party started, I will go first.

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