7 Facts About Men, Sex & Dating



7 Facts About Men, Sex & Dating

Men, Sex & Dating

Do all men want to score after the first date?  Are most men perverts?  When men see women, do they automatically think about sex?  I could provide a simple answer to these thought provoking questions but I believe that just answering “yes” won’t do them justice.

In this post I want to tackle the stereotype of men, dating and their desire for sex.  Instead of arguing for or against the validity of this stereotype, I would rather provide a behind the scenes look into the mind of men.  As a man, I may know a thing or two about this topic…

No one truly knows the complete reason as to why men are so hardwired to want sex.  Despite the research and theories, at the end of the day, we can only assume to know the whole truth.  So, let me share with you 7 facts about men, sex and dating that I know to be true. 

Fact # 1.  Women want to date while men want sex.  Koereyelle Dubose from the Single Wives Club shared this very telling statement during our past podcast.  This truth is paramount.  Unfortunately when men date, they are less likely looking for companionship and more than likely looking for a sex partner.  I know that sounds bad but keep reading. 

Fact #2.  Men suffer more from penis envy than women do.  The pressure to have sex on the first date often comes from other men.  Not in the sense that they sit around and share their sex stories, but more so from the stance of social proof and social reciprocity.  For men, sex…or at least their ability to have sex with a woman, confirms their masculinity.  Men often suffer from deep insecurities and rely on their penises to bail them out.   Men compare and contrast with other men and often wear masks to hide their true identities.  I can prove it.  Ask a man how much money he makes on his job and I bet he embellishes.  Ask him his true height and your will get a number that has been rounded up.  Ask him his true shoe size and it will take you a while to get his actual size.  Here is a good one, measure your hand to his and tell him that your hand is bigger than his…see what he says.

Fact #3.  Men blame women for their intense desire for sex.  This statement, although not shocking, is an unfortunate truth.  Society teaches men to want sex and yes women…so do you.  Honestly, sex drives culture.  If you don’t believe me, turn to any TV channel, pick up any magazine, or listen to most of the music that is played over the air waves.  About 75% of the content will have something to do with sex!  Men want it so much because they are programmed to want it so much.  Have you ever heard of the statement “sex sells?”

Fact #4.  Men want sex so that they can feel manlier.  This is yet another sad and unfortunate truth.  Most men use sex as a means to an end.  Most men not only receive physical gratification from sex, they also receive emotional gratification from their ability (in their mind) to please the woman with their penises.  That is why pornography is so divisive.  It literally teaches men to think that sex=power.  Do you really need me to go into details here?

Fact #5.  Most men will lie to you about their desire to have sex with you.  He may say that he is not with you for your body, but honestly, he probably is not giving you the whole truth.  He may say that he is willing to wait, that he is looking to prepare himself for marriage, but honestly he is buying time and mainly waiting for the correct opportunity to affirm his sense of masculinity.  If you don’t believe me, see how many times he turns down your advances for sex.

Fact #6.  Most men will put on their best behaviors so that they can possibly have sex.  That is right, he will open the door for you, pay the tab, take you out and even shave…all for the hope of you letting your guard down so that he can have sex.  Again, I know that this seems like men are controlled by their penises…and for the most part that may be correct…but again, this is what culture has taught men to be acceptable.  If there is no other standard, than honestly what do you expect from him?  With sex being so accessible, so pervasive…how can he not be driven by those urges?

Fact #7.  Men know that women settle for sex to feel loved.  Women date with the tremendous hidden pressure of knowing that when he looks at you, he is more likely to be thinking about sex and less about relationship.  Most women would rather wait to have sex but feel inclined to do so for the sake of receiving companionship.  Often the desire for companionship is so intense that she will lower her standards to get what she feels she needs.  If you don’t believe me, ask any woman who has lost her virginity whether or not she wishes she would have preserved herself.  Men are not as dumb as they sometimes appear.  For the most part, he will give you companionship as long as you give him sex. 

My Message to Men

I understand that sex is important…after all, that is how we maintain our existence, however if left unchecked, it severely distorts the human experience.  Men, if we date to score, than we will never score at dating.  Your intentions define your priorities.  Misappropriated priorities are catastrophic to the foundation of a relationship.  If I am controlled by my physical urges, what is that really saying about the condition of my mind?  Better yet, what does that say about my true perception of the woman that I am dating?  Do I truly value her, or do I only value what she can give me?  If my main reason for being in this relationship is to receive, I am in this relationship for the wrong reasons.  At least be honest and upfront with her so that you don’t waste her time.  Either that of become someone better, someone willing to go against the pressures of living in a sexually charged society.  If you are interested in learning how to become that person, submit your name and email below.

My Message to Women

Ladies, remember this statement; “You are valued at the price that was paid to get what you have to offer.”   What is your price tag?  Are you worth the investment?  If you are worth the investment, help men to make the correct adjustments within a sexually charged society.  Help him to respect you for more than your vagina.  Show him the beauty of more than just your body.   He will still struggle, but in the end, he can be more than an insecure man seeking to affirm himself through the use of his penis.  If you are interested in gaining tips on how to help him even further, submit your name and email below.

What Do You think?

I could continue to list the known reasons as to why the stereotype surrounding men, sex and dating is so pervasive, but I think that it would only be fair to hear from youAt the end of this post, I would love to hear your thoughts about this stereotype.  What do you feel are the reasons as to why men are so hardwired for sex?   Did I miss anything?  Share your comments below.




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