Chemistry 101


Chemistry 101

He’s a nice guy. He treats you well, he calls and texts. He shows interest by making plans, and isn’t that what you said you wanted??? So why aren’t you feeling him? Are you being picky, or is the chemistry missing from the equation?


Picky, Picky, Picky...


I’m the first to admit that I’ve sometimes looked for fault in a man to avoid giving him a second chance. I don’t like his eyes, the way he talks or walks. He wears sandals, or even worse, unisex tennis shoes. He’s too feminine, or he eats like a bird. These are complaints I’ve made to friends over the years when talking about someone I’ve met. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve tried to get better. None…no most of those things should ever be deal breakers. I’m honest. I’m still picky, although “selective” is my preferred label, but I no longer eliminate men from the jump because of these things. You have to give someone a chance just like they’re giving you one.


Give Him a Chance


Judging by a first date, you really can’t tell if a person is right for you. Unless the person is disrespectful, has bad hygiene or divulges a deal breaker, give him a chance. I suggest going out at least twice and doing so in different environments. Simply put, people are nervous on first dates just as they are on interviews. I once went on a date with a guy who didn’t look at me the whole time. I kept thinking, “this is weird, how are we supposed to know if we have chemistry?” In his mind, he didn’t want to stare and was avoiding appearing disrespectful or creepy. By date two, the nervousness had subsided, and the eye contact showed up.   




We just don’t have chemistry. So what exactly does that mean? According to a quick search of Wikipedia, “Chemistry is a complex emotion that two people get when they share a special connection. It is not necessarily sexual. It is the impulse making one think ‘I need to see this person again’ - that feeling of ‘we click.’" Most people can tell if they have chemistry within the first few dates. This is when my struggle begins. I can’t find any deal breakers with the person, but no sparks are flying. Thus begins the struggle of me asking myself if there is something wrong with me; however, if you aren’t feeling the person, you can’t force it, so just be honest with them.

It’s clear to me now that having no chemistry is one of my deal breakers. If a lack of chemistry is also a deal breaker for you, I challenge you to analyze your past experiences to determine the commonalities between those with whom you did and did not have chemistry. Perhaps that will help you to easily recognize who is who so that you don’t waste anyone’s time, including yours.   

Question:  How do you determine if the chemistry is there?      


Angelita Streeter


Angelita Streeter



Angelita Streeter is a 36-year-old single professional from Pensacola, Florida who has resided in Central Florida since 2005. She earned her bachelor’s degree in Journalism from Florida A&M University and her Master’s in English from Florida State University. For the past 11 years, Angelita has worked in public relations and education. She also provides freelance writing and editing services. Recently Angelita expanded her repertoire to health by writing a health and fitness blog and teaching Sensual Fit, a toning class at a local dance studio.


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