The 3G Formula for Healthy Relationships

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John Maxwell once wrote, “Relationships help us define who we are and what we become. More than almost anything else, relationships determine the kind of life you lead. In fact most people can trace their failures or successes back to pivotal relationships.”

As a Licensed Mental Health Therapist and Certified Life Coach, I agree with John Maxwell’s statement because I am personally on the front line helping to rectify misappropriated relationships.   I have seen many individuals who suffer as adults from the damage due to relationships that they had throughout their childhood. I see broken marriages, distorted body images, depression, anxiety, fear and guilt. I see people tossed by the waves of life, both tired and frustrated. I see people stuck in life, living life based on limits and conditions rather than faith and hope. I see people who struggle to love, people who develop relationships with limited knowledge, limited self-confidence and limited resources. Unfortunately, many misinterpret the importance of healthy relationships and its connection to living a successful life.   That is why most people dream of living successful lives but only few truly obtain that goal. See to truly become successful in life you have to master the art of the 3 G’s as they relate to every relationship that you have ever had and will ever have.   I know this sounds strange but I assure you that once you are done reading this it will make sense. Here is a quick overview of the 3 G’s:



Webster defines the word “get” as: to obtain and to bring where wanted or needed. I like this definition because it makes “getting” the responsibility of the individual and no one else…or at least it does in my interpretation.   The greatest asset that you will ever have is your mind. I have seen many people struggle in life when they cease to get information that would produce growth.   Whether it is financially, relationally, culturally, spiritually or physically when you limit the acquisition of knowledge you severely decrease your opportunity to grow. To ensure growth, make a decision to become a life-long learner. Learn yourself then learn others. Get all the knowledge that you can get!



The accumulation of information is only part of the journey. Most people will remain stagnant in critical areas of their lives until they decide to grow. Think of any bad habit that you have struggled to overcome. If you are honest, most of your stagnation is a result of a lack of growth. A lack of growth is usually due to misappropriated information. I have made many poor financial decisions in my past based on no information or the wrong information.   Only when you grow can you produce enough to give in any relationship.   I am so glad that my wife did not marry the 15 year-old version of me…she would have never trusted me to manage our house budget.



The Law of Reciprocity states that, “what you invest, you will repossess.” The single most important thing that you can do for any relationship is give. The only reason that you “get it to grow it” is to “give it.” Success in life is snuffed out when all you do is get things to grow things. Every experience, every interaction, every failure or obstacle passed is an opportunity for future giving. The way I see it…I stand on the shoulders of those who gave so that I can become the launching pad for someone to receive what I have to give. You are no different. You are tasked with the privilege of living life on purpose for the sole purpose of giving.   What have you grown but have not given?

So there it is, my formula for how to have healthy relationships and a successful life.   If you build every relationship on these 3 G’s, failure will never be an option. Get it, Grow it, Give it…got it, good.

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